Last week I went for my haircut...guess what?! after almost 5mths, losing 6kgs of weight and almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight, the lady at the salon asked me a qn.
Her: you just give birth ah?
Me:erm...how come you say that leh? erm...can tell? (indignant in my heart)
Her: oh just a feeling that I got....
I had thought that after losing all that weight, I would look pretty "normal" and no one would be asking me any more of these awkward questions. After all, most of the people whom I interact with knows..those that don't, they probably won't be able to guess that I was a mom. But here it is again! Argh!
The first time someone (of no relations to me) asked me this question after I delivered was also at a hair salon. That time, it was only just 1 mth after Tyan's passing.
Her: you just gave birth ah?
me: erm...ya...(not wanting to talk more)
Her: so boy or girl ah?
me: erm...boy..(dreading the next question)
Her: oh so good! so who helping you to take care?
Me: erm..(not sure how to go on answering and debating whether to tell the truth so i can "end" the conversation or just lie and pretend and say my Dad (as in my heavenly Father) is taking care of him but I know it just mean that there will be more unwanted questions to come)...actually my baby passed away already...
Her:Oh! erm...sorry ah...(awkward silence)...
Basically, this type of conversation plagued me almost everywhere I went the last couple of months...when I was doing my confinement, the jamu lady asked me how come the baby was not in the house and why my stretch marks were so many and so deep. When I went for my hair treatment, the consultant asked if I was pregnant and congratulated me. When I went for my slimming treatments, every single time it was a different therapist. Each one asked abt my c-section scar and asked me abt my baby etc. When I went for my detox treatments, they would ask how come I have such bad water retention. When I came back to work, i had various ones came up to me and asked me if I had been on maternity leave and asked the usual qns like how was life as a mom etc...I could only flatly replied them that my baby was not ard anymore.
It was really difficult initially...but as time went by, it did get easier to answer these questions. I wouldn't reveal more than necessary cos talking abt the details still hurts. But I didn't want to lie abt it cos really no point...you will lie a new one to cover up the previous one and eventually you get caught up in a web of lies and you still can change the fact that these lies are not reality. Truth is my baby has died. I am sad but these lies will not help me to move on so I thought let's just be practical abt it. Sigh...
Her: you just give birth ah?
Me:
Her: oh just a feeling that I got....
I had thought that after losing all that weight, I would look pretty "normal" and no one would be asking me any more of these awkward questions. After all, most of the people whom I interact with knows..those that don't, they probably won't be able to guess that I was a mom. But here it is again! Argh!
The first time someone (of no relations to me) asked me this question after I delivered was also at a hair salon. That time, it was only just 1 mth after Tyan's passing.
Her: you just gave birth ah?
me: erm...ya...(not wanting to talk more)
Her: so boy or girl ah?
me: erm...boy..(dreading the next question)
Her: oh so good! so who helping you to take care?
Me: erm..(not sure how to go on answering and debating whether to tell the truth so i can "end" the conversation or just lie and pretend and say my Dad (as in my heavenly Father) is taking care of him but I know it just mean that there will be more unwanted questions to come)...actually my baby passed away already...
Her:
Basically, this type of conversation plagued me almost everywhere I went the last couple of months...when I was doing my confinement, the jamu lady asked me how come the baby was not in the house and why my stretch marks were so many and so deep. When I went for my hair treatment, the consultant asked if I was pregnant and congratulated me. When I went for my slimming treatments, every single time it was a different therapist. Each one asked abt my c-section scar and asked me abt my baby etc. When I went for my detox treatments, they would ask how come I have such bad water retention. When I came back to work, i had various ones came up to me and asked me if I had been on maternity leave and asked the usual qns like how was life as a mom etc...I could only flatly replied them that my baby was not ard anymore.
It was really difficult initially...but as time went by, it did get easier to answer these questions. I wouldn't reveal more than necessary cos talking abt the details still hurts. But I didn't want to lie abt it cos really no point...you will lie a new one to cover up the previous one and eventually you get caught up in a web of lies and you still can change the fact that these lies are not reality. Truth is my baby has died. I am sad but these lies will not help me to move on so I thought let's just be practical abt it. Sigh...
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